Whether the thought of the first dance fills you with terror or excitement, there’s a range of options to suit exactly how you wish to tackle the newlywed rite of passage. Between overanalysing it and assuming it’ll all come together naturally on the day, ask yourselves a few pertinent questions to get started, such as how do you envision it happening? And what will work best for you as a couple and the type of wedding you’re planning? You might want to have a little fun with it or flip the tradition on its head – whether that’s including a posse of your loved ones, incorporating your child guests or even getting your beloved pooch involved.
Then there’s the music. Choose a song that reflects your personalities: don’t conform to tradition or select the track that’s popular at the time if it doesn’t suit who you are as a couple. You might prefer a classic ballad, a symbolic replay of the record that your parents danced to on their wedding day or your all-time favourite get-on-the-dancefloor party track. An acoustic or live performance, vocals by a talented friend or even a karaoke session can make the first dance a unique and utterly ‘you’ event to relish and remember.
We’ve rounded up a range of first dance ideas to help you shimmy your way into married life to your very own beat...
Impromptu
One of the most popular choices, the impromptu first dance is usually the result of selecting a special song (or not) and simply rolling with it. Some couples practise a few of their moves in advance, but generally it’s a case of seeing where the music and mood (and bubbly!) takes you. The endnote is a more relaxed, ‘non-performance’ approach, signalling the start of the party with the mass migration of your guests onto the dancefloor as the tempo builds or switches into party mode.
Choreographed
A routine of some sort marks a more dedicated response to the first dance. You might have studied performance art, take regular salsa classes together or just love to move, so a choreographed dance will give you the perfect chance to show off your skills and repertoire.
Go romantic with a ballroom dance (rumba, anyone?), pay homage to your favourite film or musical by replicating one of its iconic dance numbers (think Dirty Dancing, Pulp Fiction, Grease, Footloose and Saturday Night Fever), learn the steps to a dance song (Macarena remains as infectiously fun as ever) or employ a professional to help you create your own dance routine to suit your ability and personalities.
Group dance
If you’re keen on taking the pressure off while upping the fun factor, then a group dance is the easiest solution. This could be a family affair (you two and the kids/your parents/entire extended family), the newlyweds and the bridal party or all the guests – and can be impromptu, choreographed or even take the form of a dance-off. The newlyweds could still have a centre-stage moment or performance within the dance, or blend into the troupe entirely.
It could also involve an outfit change, entertainment element (such as acrobatics, circus act, live band or light show) or a complete mash-up of music and dance styles, starting with a slow couple’s dance before blending into an upbeat family boogie followed by a group R&B routine with your gal pals (you can’t beat Beyoncé’s Crazy in Love, for example). Variations on group dances include line dancing (either instructor-led or with a screen playing instructions), a ceilidh or a folk dance. Ask your guests to submit their favourite song or to learn the moves to a pre-selected dance and give your DJ a list of well-known moves-in-the-lyrics songs such as YMCA, Time Warp and the Conga.
Professional dance performance
Employing a pair or group of professional dancers can double up as the first dance and wedding entertainment, and can take place alongside a couple’s dance or instead of. You could join in for the duration, toward the end or be the opening act – it’s entirely up to you.
The great thing about this option is that you can pick dancers and music to suit the theme and feel of your wedding. For example, if your wedding has a retro, rock and roll or vintage vibe, ask your dance act to perform The Bunny Hop, Jitterbug or Hand Jive – and ask your guests to learn them if they’d like to partake in the performance (giving them the element of choice takes the pressure off them too!). There are so many options, from belly dances and ballet to Bollywood, Argentine tango and Latin styles.
Father-daughter
If the groom isn’t thrilled (or remains terrified) of the first dance or you’d like to honour another special person instead of – or as well as – him, then switching partners is another option. Many brides begin the dance with their spouse before the father of the bride cuts in, but this could also be her brother, mother, sister, best friend, grandparent or child. When it comes to the first dance, do exactly what you want – dance The Loco-Motion with your mum before launching into a Disney megamix with your daughter and ending with Cha Cha Slide en masse! You could also congregate a few couples to join you, such as your siblings and their partners, mothers and fathers, aunties and uncles, and so on.
Opt out
It’s important to remember that the first dance, like so much else in modern weddings, is optional. If for any reason you can’t or don’t want to have one, then don’t. If you’re concerned about leaving that section out, then employ a professional dancer or musician to take to the stage in your absence or simply invite all your guests onto the dancefloor for the first song of the evening. If it’s nerves that’s prohibiting you, wait for the party to be in full swing for a first dance interlude once you’ve warmed into the party spirit or swap the first dance for a last dance at the very end of the night (or even surprise your spouse by saving it for the privacy of your honeymoon suite!).
words Hannah May
Main image Noah Werth Photography